\u201cWell, the sign confirms it,\u201d Bolero said, walking back over to where Nerek was standing. \u201cIt\u2019s the old puzzle where one door is certain death, and one door is the treasure. One guard only lies, and one guard only tells the truth. You only get one question.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nerek let out a deep sigh. When he\u2019d accepted the quest to save the fair maiden from eternal slumber, he hadn\u2019t expected it to be so complicated. Find the highest tower, kiss her, and go home. No one mentioned how ruddy difficult it would be to find the place, however. And instead of the plant barrier he\u2019d been promised, he\u2019d been forced to smash open several locked doors like a common thug, slay a fierce dragon without proper equipment\u2026 and now this. \u201cUgh. You\u2019re a bard. Do you remember how this one goes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou hired me to record your adventures for posterity,\u201d Bolero said, shaking his head. \u201cI can\u2019t get involved. Besides, I don\u2019t remember quite how it goes. Something about asking one what the other would say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, that\u2019s all I remember, too,\u201d Nerek admitted, placing his hand on his chin. The two guards stared intently at him, making him feel ill at ease. \u201cYou know, it was bad enough that a full-sized adult dragon was able to live here for countless years\u2026 how in the heck are these two still alive? What do they eat? When do they sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bolero shrugged. \u201cIt\u2019s magic.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course it is,\u201d Nerek replied, muttering under his breath. \u201cWell, no good complaining about it. Let\u2019s see\u2026 If I ask them a simple question, I\u2019ll find out which one lies\u2026 but that still won\u2019t tell me which door is safe. I have to find out both pieces of information at the same time\u2026 wait, I got it!\u201d<\/p>\n
The guard on the left perked up as Nerek approached. \u201cAhh, good sir knight. Welcome to our puzzle! Have you decided what question to ask? As you know, you can only–\u201c<\/p>\n
The rest of his speech was cut short by Nerek\u2019s sword, sliding quickly and precisely through the guard\u2019s stomach. He fell to the ground, gurgling, while the other guard cried out in fear and anguish.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou healed him!\u201d he yelled, cradling the dying body of the other guard in his arms. \u201cI\u2019ve never seen him before for twenty whole years, and you\u2019ve just up and healed him! Did your mother drop you on your feet as a child!?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut, you\u2026 I thought you were just illusions, or\u2026 or golems or something,\u201d Nerek said, coughing awkwardly. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to\u2026 ummm\u2026 my bad. But\u2026 ahh, now that I know you\u2019re the one who lies\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, go to Heaven, you legitimate child!\u201d said the guard, fighting back tears. \u201cThe door to your left won\u2019t lead you to the princess! Now stay here, and don\u2019t ever leave!\u201d<\/p>\n
Nerek darted quickly through the door, with Bolero close behind him. \u201cWell, that could have gone better,\u201d said the bard, with a smug expression on his face. Nerek made no reply, choosing to remain silent for the short walk to the princess\u2019s bed.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, the princess\u2019s chamber was laid out in a traditional manner. An oversized bed in the center of the room took up most of the floor space, though it was hard to tell where the mattress ended and the bedding began. It was a massive explosion of bedding, lace, and tulle. The only light coming into the chamber came from the large stained glass window in the rear, casting the chamber into reds, pinks, and purples.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, you\u2019re up, boss.\u201d Bolero stopped in the doorway, and gestured him forward.<\/p>\n
Nerek stepped cautiously forward, leaving footprints of dirt and blood on the clean, white linens. He approached her unconscious figure, brushed aside her blonde locks, and placed his lips awkwardly onto hers. He held his face close, until he could feel warmth returning to her skin. Nerek found himself standing over her, half-crouched next to her bed, while she slowly stirred awake.<\/p>\n
\u201cWho is king?\u201d she asked, propping herself up on one elbow.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2026 what? Fair maiden, my name is Sir Nerek, and I have–\u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t care about any of that,\u201d she said, cutting him short. \u201cWho. Is. King?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, King Reginald the Fair, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you serious!?\u201d she yelled. \u201cHe\u2019s my nephew! What are you doing here so early!?\u201d<\/p>\n
Nerek frowned, trying to make sense of her anger. \u201cMadam, I don\u2019t understand\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLook here,\u201d she said, swinging her feet off the side of the bed as she sat up, \u201cthe entire reason I am here is to make sure that the Alitis Dynasty has one last chance to restore its name once the inevitable decline begins to occur. There is absolutely no way that my family has managed to ruin its hold on the crown in only one generation. You should not be here.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nerek tried to comprehend the words he had just heard. \u201cBut you were cursed to an eternal sleep!\u201d he repeated. \u201cAnd I rescued you from that! I\u2019m your hero!\u201d<\/p>\n
The princess screamed, and threw one of several embroidered pillows into his face. \u201cNo, you\u2019re not! Do you really think my father would have been unable to prevent an evil spell from being cast on me? Do you really think that an entire army\u2019s worth of soldiers would be useless against one single evil fairy? No! The entire point of this spell was to prevent me from aging, so that I could help my ancestors maintain the family name! We did it on purpose, you\u2026 you lunkhead!\u201d<\/p>\n
At this point, Bolero failed to withhold his laughter, earning himself a dirty glare from both the princess and her would-be rescuer. \u201cI can\u2019t believe you even made it this far,\u201d she added, shifting her anger back to Nerek. \u201cWe hatched Matilda for the sole purpose of explaining this to idiots like you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nerek felt the color drain from his cheeks. \u201cYou\u2026 hatched her, you say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow else do you raise a dragon?\u201d she replied, clenching her fists in fury. \u201cOf course we hatched–\u201c<\/p>\n
The princess paused mid-word, noticing the blood dripping from Nerek\u2019s blade for the first time. \u201cYou\u2026 you didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, you see,\u201d Nerek said, cowering under the weight of her glare, \u201cI wasn\u2019t really prepared to\u2026 so I figured if I waited until it was sleeping, it would be distracted enough that I could… so I guess she didn\u2019t have time to, well, say anything before\u2026 umm\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe also killed one of your door guards,\u201d Bolero added, with a wide grin on his face.<\/p>\n
The next thing Nerek knew, he found himself outside the castle grounds, panting for breath. There had been a shrill, deafening cry, as well as several swift kicks to his shins. And the pillows! Who knew decorative bedding could be thrown with such accuracy? He looked behind him to see the bard following closely behind him, looking significantly less worse for wear and far, far too happy given the circumstances. \u201cIt appears your services will no longer be needed,\u201d he said, trying to regain his composure. \u201cI trust my down payment is enough to settle our account?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bolero responded with a peal of laughter. \u201cOh, our account is settled, alright. You\u2019ve dropped a gold mine into my lap. Soon, every tavern in the kingdom will be begging to hear me play the Ballad of the Sir Nerek!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cWell, the sign confirms it,\u201d Bolero said, walking back over to where Nerek was standing. \u201cIt\u2019s the old puzzle where one door is certain death, and one door is the treasure. One guard only lies, and one guard only tells the truth. You only get one question.\u201d Nerek let out a deep sigh. When he\u2019d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[216,376,933,1004],"class_list":["post-9413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","tag-confabulation","tag-fairy-tale","tag-retelling","tag-short-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9413","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/19"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9413"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9413\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}