Susie Safflower surreptitiously tested the ropes tying her to the chair. They seemed a little looser on the left. She\u2019s have to keep that in mind.<\/p>\n
\u201cMwuaha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I, the Dark Nemesis, have you completely in my power!\u201d<\/p>\n
Susie\u2019s bosom heaved with agitation. A comely sweat bespangled her brow. \u201cWhat\u2026 what do you intend to do with me?\u201d she cried.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy, I shall use you for my pleasure\u2014 as bait in my trap for Captain Awesome!\u201d Dark Nemesis cackled again.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh!\u201d Susie breathed. \u201cYou horrible, horrible villain! You would never harm a helpless woman!\u201d
\n\u201cWell, of course not,\u201d Dark Nemesis said in a more normal tone of voice. \u201cI was raised never to hit girls. Mom always wanted me to be a gentleman, and she was right. Manners are so important, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n
Well, yes,\u201d Susie agreed. \u201cYou do have lovely manners.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you, my dear. One does so hate to make a poor first impression.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy, only last week when I was held captive by the Avenger of Doom\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, well, yes, the Avenger of Doom. If that\u2019s the standard of villainy these days, no wonder the superheroes keep winning. Tell me, does he even have a proper lair?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019d kind of fixed up his parents\u2019 basement. It certainly smelled<\/i> lair like. Kind of dank.\u201d She had to keep him talking, steer the conversation in a more pleasant direction. She tossed her head defiantly. \u201cWhatever it is you\u2019re planning, you\u2019ll never get away with it!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, no, I\u2019ve planned things very carefully. I\u2019m certain to succeed. Tell me, my dear, are you comfortable? Because we may be here for quite a while.\u201d<\/p>\n
Susie tried for a sultry tone. \u201cThese ropes are awfully\u2026 tight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, dear.\u201d Dark Nemesis fussed with the ropes, loosening them ever so slightly. \u201cWould you like a cup of tea or something while I\u2019m up? I\u2019ve got Thin Mints.\u201d<\/p>\n
Susie was about to scream in frustrated rage. All that work. Weeks and weeks of planning, figuring out precisely which dark alleyways suited her purpose, subtly planting the seeds of an idea for Dark Nemesis to capture and torture her, and for what? The nimrod is loosening<\/i> the ropes! She can practically wriggle free! And he\u2019s being so nice!<\/i> And hospitable! The whole thing now seemed like a colossal waste of time. Whatever did she used to see in this guy?<\/p>\n
Well, Girl Scout cookies would be some consolation.<\/p>\n
The kettle had barely come to a boil when Captain Awesome came crashing through the window. Overdramatic, as usual, when there was a perfectly good unlocked<\/i> door right there. Susie rolled her eyes at him.<\/p>\n
Dark Nemesis still had a tea bag and a plate of small brown cookies in his hand. He blinked in surprise, then recovered himself and sneered, \u201cNot so fast, Captain\u2026 Not-So-Great! You\u2019ll never stop me!\u201d He held out the plate, and in a normal voice asked, \u201cThin Mint?\u201d<\/p>\n
Susie could not believe her eyes. Dark Nemesis was actually simpering<\/i> at Captain Awesome! And Captain Awesome was making googley eyes back! No wonder she had never gotten anywhere with either one of them!<\/p>\n
Suddenly certain features of Captain Awesome\u2019s Man Cave of Solitude became crystal clear\u2026
\n\u201cThin Mint? Don\u2019t mind if I do,\u201d Captain Awesome reached for a delicious chocolate covered cookie. \u201cSay, you didn\u2019t steal<\/i> these, did you? Because Girl Scouts are the little green hearts of America.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, no,\u201d Dark Nemesis reassured him. \u201cMy neighbor. She\u2019s a troop leader, and never lets me run out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Susie sighed, and began rescuing herself. The way these two were going it might be hours before they even remembered she was in the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019ll just be going, then,\u201d she said brightly as the last of the ropes fell away. \u201cIt looks like you two have a lot to catch up on.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t forget to pick up my second best cape from the dry cleaners,\u201d Captain Awesome called after her.<\/p>\n
Susie had barely reached the door when it was flung open, and a raven-haired beauty wearing a tight leather corset, thigh-high patent leather boots, and carrying a bullwhip in one hand and a death ray in the other burst through. \u201cIt is I, Whip Lass, and I have come to\u2026 Oh, hell. Let me guess. These two jokers are mortal enemies, and they\u2019ve just realized their hatred is just love in disguise?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s about the size of it,\u201d Susie agreed. \u201cDoesn\u2019t it just make you sick?\u201d She eyed the other woman\u2019s somewhat provocative costume. \u201cWhat did you say your name was?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m Whip Lass. I\u2019m the newest super villain in town. And you are?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSusie Safflower, plucky girl sidekick. I hope you have a decent cover identity. We\u2019re just about full up with investigative reporters and mild-mannered malt shop owners around here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, nothing like that. In fact, I work at Mistress Mallet\u2019s House of Pain. It\u2019s great for blackmail, and all my costumes are tax deductible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you\u2019re just starting out in the biz\u2014 are you hiring?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s true that I have an opening on my minion roster\u2026 perhaps we should go to my lair and discuss the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLead on,\u201d Susie said. \u201cI have to ask, how are you at the art of kinbaku?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Susie Safflower surreptitiously tested the ropes tying her to the chair. They seemed a little looser on the left. She\u2019s have to keep that in mind. \u201cMwuaha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I, the Dark Nemesis, have you completely in my power!\u201d Susie\u2019s bosom heaved with agitation. A comely sweat bespangled her brow. \u201cWhat\u2026 what do you intend to do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8311"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8311\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}