{"id":5450,"date":"2012-10-08T06:00:16","date_gmt":"2012-10-08T11:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/?p=5450"},"modified":"2012-10-08T06:00:16","modified_gmt":"2012-10-08T11:00:16","slug":"meetingwithmitch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/?p=5450","title":{"rendered":"Meeting with Mitch"},"content":{"rendered":"

This interview is with a character from my short story Patchwork. The story is not yet available. It is being submitted to horror markets with the hope of being published soon.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c Welcome to a Meeting with Mitch, I\u2019m Mitch Marlins. Our guest today could not join us in the studio. He is currently being housed in the Taylor County Jail facing charges on several murders, but he has agreed to talk to us via satellite. Denny, thanks for joining us.<\/p>\n

\u201c Goddammit, my name\u2019s not Denny.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe deputies said\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cThose [beep]heads,\u201d he yells off-camera. \u201cHey, Joel. It\u2019s not enough that you got me locked up in this [beep]ing [beep]hole, but you gotta keep busting my balls on the Denny thing? Yeah, real [beep]ing funny.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo your name isn\u2019t Denny?\u201d Mitch asks.<\/p>\n

\u201c Ever since Fat Freddie Berger became a bestselling novelist, these [beep]holes have been calling me Denny.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean Fredrick Collins?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know him as Fredrick Collins. I know him as Fat [beep]ing Freddie. Yes, I was an [beep]hole to him. Yes, I bullied him. But goddamn, I grew up. He\u2019s still making me pay for it. He\u2019s a [beep]ing millionaire because I gave him a swirly? I should be so lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n

The deputies laugh off-screen.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, [beep] you guys. Don\u2019t get any ideas. Joel, I went to your kid\u2019s baptism. Damn\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd now you\u2019ve written a short story titled Patchwork?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. But let\u2019s call it what it is, Mitch. It\u2019s the truth about what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a story about a monster who kills people and amputates their body parts.\u201d Mitch says.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then replaces his own body parts with them. Yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNon-fiction?\u201d Mitch taps his pen on his desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook. Fat Freddie wrote his stupid [beep]ing books and everyone believed him. They believed I was an [beep]hole, that I did all these things to him to make his life a living hell. And yes, some of them\u2014most of them\u2014happened, but people believed him and I got no end of [beep]about it. Patchwork happened. It happened to me. It killed my best friend.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are referring to Jason Thompson, who you are charged with murdering.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t kill Jason, the patchwork creature did. It tore off his [beep]ing jaw.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about Tina Miller\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cThe creature took her eyes\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cHank Miller\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cBeaten to death with his own [beep]ing arm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd his heart removed,\u201d Mitch adds.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe creature needed it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight. Then there were Will Jennings, Marty Sparks\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201c[Beep] those guys. They let the damn thing out in the first place. Greedy [beep]ers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd an unidentified body, pinned underneath a vehicle and burned to death.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was it! The patchwork creature! That one, I did kill.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re admitting it on national television?\u201d Mitch asks.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh for [beep]\u2019s sake, it wasn\u2019t even human and it was self defense. Look, Hank was a dumb[beep]. Tina was a [beep] and was never going to [beep] Jason, no matter how much he pined for her. Trust me, it isn\u2019t worth the headache she causes anyway. Will and Marty got themselves [bee]ing killed. [beep] \u2018em. But Jason was the best of us. Not the sharpest knife, but you could count on him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that what Patchwork is about?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were all there for our piece, hoping to find something worth money. Maybe we were just doing stupid [beep], killing time on a Friday night. My dad used to say nothing good happens after bar closing. Turns out he was right, the [beep]er. Jason was there because he wanted to be loved. Look where that got him. I\u2019m the prick. Fat [beep]ing Freddie\u2019s Pulitzer Prize bully. \u00a0And I\u2019m the one that made it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas Jason\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201c[Beep] it. I\u2019m done. Read the story or don\u2019t read the [beep]ing story. I don\u2019t [beep]ing care. Turn off the [beep]ing camera. Joel, get this [beep]er out of here.\u201d<\/p>\n

The satellite link drops.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was\u2014well, I don\u2019t have his name, apparently. But he is known as Denny in the Fredrick Collins novels and has written his story, Patchwork, the supposedly true story of the Fairfax massacre. Look for it, or don\u2019t, he doesn\u2019t seem to care. Until next time, I\u2019m Mitch Marlins.\u201d<\/p>\n

The audience applauds politely as we go to commercial.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This interview is with a character from my short story Patchwork. The story is not yet available. It is being submitted to horror markets with the hope of being published soon. \u201c Welcome to a Meeting with Mitch, I\u2019m Mitch Marlins. Our guest today could not join us in the studio. He is currently being […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[167,270,696,814],"class_list":["post-5450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mechanics","tag-character-interview","tag-denny","tag-mitch","tag-patchwork"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5450"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5450\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}