{"id":10855,"date":"2018-03-12T06:00:10","date_gmt":"2018-03-12T11:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/?p=10855"},"modified":"2018-03-12T06:00:10","modified_gmt":"2018-03-12T11:00:10","slug":"sewing-shears-budget-cuts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/?p=10855","title":{"rendered":"Of Sewing Shears and Budget Cuts"},"content":{"rendered":"

The final straw for Ms. Elizabeth Ledbetter, teacher of Home Economics at West Bulgewater Middle School, was of course her sewing shears. In fact, the school district\u2019s<\/em> sewing shears\u2014all equipment belonged to the district, she knew that\u2014but she held fond feelings that approached guardianship toward the most valuable tools of her trade. And the fizz brained art teacher, Ms. Birdie McCaw had dulled them.<\/p>\n

Frowning, Elizabeth placed the Fiskars Softgrip sewing shears back into the metal sewing box, locked it, and reaffixed the box to the supply cart that she and Birdie shared to run their classes. Her face was calm, but she outgassed unseen anger like a Yellowstone fumarole as she pushed the Mobile Classroom 5000 <\/em>(it was a plastic cart on casters) down the hallway of lockers toward the teacher\u2019s lounge. Inside, no doubt, the kooky art teacher would be taking her coffee.<\/p>\n

So much of the shared Mobile Classroom 5000<\/em> situation irritated Elizabeth. Paint would drip from Birdie\u2019s side of the cart into Elizabeth\u2019s measuring spoons. Clay dust often caked the sides of her electric frying pan (no ovens for a mobile-only subject like Home Ec.), and Elizabeth just knew<\/em> raided the batting for her pillow-sewing lesson to furnish the cloudscape project. These offenses she had borne with professional stoicism. After all, Birdie was stuck sharing a cart with her too. But the shears\u2026<\/p>\n

She pushed the teacher\u2019s lounge door open. \u201cBirdie, we\u2019ve got to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n

The young art teacher looked up with large brown eyes from her cup and a copy of some obscure experimental art and literature journal called \u201cSpipS.\u201d She looked wholly the opposite of Elizabeth. Her wiry figure was dressed in an ill-fitting rainbow of flowy clothing that had paint spatters. Her makeup was overdone, and caked into acne scars, and always the same gaudy plastic parrot earrings, each sitting upon a perch that dangled from each earlobe. Elizabeth? Solid frame, graying pixie cut, sensible cardigans and slacks in gray, black or taupe. Sometimes she wore lip gloss with a faint shimmer.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh hello Elizabeth! Is it about the pillow batting? Because I\u2019ve meant to fill out a supply re-order form. There\u2019s just never enough to go around, is there?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t even submitted the form?\u201d Elizabeth was like a caldera. She didn\u2019t often explode, but when she did, it could change global climates. She tried not to explode right now. It usually took two months from form submission to supply acquisition if<\/em> the supply request was approved, pending budget availability. Birdie must have sensed Elizabeth\u2019s building tension because she quickly started explaining.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019ve submitted so many this month. I\u2019ve been feeling like I\u2019m being a bother,\u201d she said, looking unhappy. Elizabeth switched from explosive to suspicious. It took Birdie a lot of \u2018being a bother\u2019 before she became self-aware enough to sense she was a nuisance.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many forms have you submitted?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFifteen this week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFifteen! How? For what?\u201d That was an outrageous number of re-order forms.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I ran out of paint the first of the month, then the watercolors got used up the next week. Kiln fees at the Arts Center went up by $1.50 a piece, and I\u2019d never gotten the glazes I ordered last year despite the district\u2019s insistence that I had. Actually, there were several unfilled supply orders included in my \u2018form storm.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you going through supplies so fast?\u201d Elizabeth was keen with a budget and making supplies last. It was part of the valuable lessons she taught her students each year.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you see,\u201d said Birdie, \u201cPrincipal Larsen cut the arts budget again this semester, so I\u2019ve been working on \u00bc of my usual funds.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait, she made another cut at semester? <\/em>And you\u2019re working on \u00bc of the funds?\u201d<\/p>\n

Rachel Larsen, the new principal who was running for superintendent this year, had a campaign platform based on working within a sensible budget to alleviate tax burden. Fine with Elizabeth. But \u00bc of her former funds? To teach an entire middle school?<\/p>\n

\u201cThen last week,\u201d Birdie continued, \u201cshe had all my scissors reassigned to the library and athletic department.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRachael\u2026reassigned<\/em>\u2026scissors?\u201d This was ridiculous. Elizabeth was a fan tracking equipment and dispersing it in the most economical ways. But surely the district could afford scissors for the library, the sports teams, and <\/em>the art teacher. Elizabeth knew Principal Larsen was a micromanager\u2014she was forever doling out performance evaluations and demanding bi-quarterly faculty reports. These took so much time to complete that Elizabeth had to lesson-plan far into the night just to keep up. But scissor-apportioning was micromanagement beyond the pale.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Birdie. \u201cReassigned. But I found a pair in your locked box! Hope you don\u2019t mind!\u201d<\/p>\n

The winds of righteous indignation didn\u2019t leave Elizabeth\u2019s sails. They switched direction. This wasn\u2019t Birdie\u2019s fault. The blame for the shears\u2019 destruction lay solidly at the administration\u2019s feet. And for that matter, the clay-encrusted cookware and missing pillow batting too!<\/p>\n

The fumes boiled up in Elizabeth once more. A cart instead of a classroom with stoves! Bah! And a shared<\/em> cart heaped insult upon the injustice. Moving from home room to home room, squeezing her \u2018nonessential elective\u2019 instructions on how to cook, budget, clean, and repair clothing into the students\u2019 busy days.<\/p>\n

\u201cNowadays, you should be grateful a home economics teacher has a job at all\u2026<\/em>\u201d That gem of a quote bubbled back up to Elizabeth\u2019s forebrain. Principal Larsen told her this during her last performance review.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth looked at Birdie. Another \u2018nonessential elective\u2019 teacher fortunate to have a job nowadays.<\/em> All Birdie could teach was how to express feelings and ideas. What use was that to the district?<\/em> Instead of irritating adversary, Birdie looked more like a beleaguered colleague.<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope the shears were as helpful to you as they have been to me,\u201d said Elizabeth. \u201cTo me, Birdie, the Shears are martyrs to stoke the flames of revolution.\u201d<\/p>\n

Birdie nodded. \u201cThey worked a treat for the paper snowflake project.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elizabeth turned to haze out the window at the green where students walked between the temporary classroom trailers and the main building.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure they did,\u201d Elizabeth muttered, still brooding. Fiskars shears used to cut snowflakes! She was planning how she could petition the principal and the district alone to get her own Mobile Classroom 5000 <\/em>when Birdie said something remarkable.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m tired of not having my own art cart.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elizabeth gasped. It was the first time Birdie had voiced thoughts similar to her own. The first time she\u2019d expressed self-interest or frustration. It was momentous, really. Elizabeth wheeled.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that so?\u201d She asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh please don\u2019t take offense Elizabeth! I don\u2019t mind sharing with you specifically. You\u2019re so nice.\u201d Elizabeth smiled. She was not nice. She was merely outwardly calm always. \u201cIt\u2019s just\u2026I need more room! I can barely teach the students anything with the supplies I have.\u00a0 Paper snowflakes! In middle school! We should have a real kiln and throwing wheels, and, and, and, easels! And we shouldn\u2019t have to use Crayola watercolor ovals for paints!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo offense taken,\u201d said Elizabeth.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you said the last bit\u2026about the flames of revolution?\u201d Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. Birdie had been listening? \u201cI want in.\u201d Birdie tilted her chin defiantly up.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth smiled. She extended her firm, square hand, and the willowy woman shook it.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Not a pair who rocked boats, Elizabeth and Birdie made their first appeal only one link up the chain of command. Directly to Principal Larsen. They had a scheduled appointment during the lunch\/teacher planning hour. One of the principal\u2019s first acts had been to combine lunch and planning so that teachers could pick up more administrative tasks in their newfound \u2018free time.\u2019<\/p>\n

Elizabeth and Birdie arrived at the principal\u2019s office on time to find a post-it on the door that read: Away on Urgent Business. Back in a Bit. <\/em>So they waited side by side on the hallway bench usually occupied by students awaiting detention. Two adjacent hallway clocks ticked offbeat of each other so the hallway sounded like a cartoon bomb.<\/p>\n

At half-past the hour, the principal returned. They heard her before they saw her; her heels click-clicked on the linoleum in time with the tick-tick, tick-tick of the clocks. She rounded the corner carrying a latte and a Starbucks muffin sack. Starbucks emergency, <\/em>Elizabeth snarked in her head. The principal wore a beautiful navy skirt suit that complimented her silver blonde bob and slender figure. Elizabeth started to speak, but Larsen cut her off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be with you in a minute. My apologies.\u201d She opened her office door, stepped through, and slammed it in one graceful motion.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth deflated and she and Birdie exchanged a look. Fifteen more minutes tick-ticked by and Elizabeth\u2019s stomach growled. Lunch hour was almost over and she needed to use the bathroom and eat. Making interview subjects wait, Elizabeth remembered, was an interrogation technique. The principal would meet them refreshed, fed, and caffeinated. She and Birdie would be hungry, tired, and distracted by nature\u2019s call. Well played, Larsen<\/em>, Elizabeth thought.<\/p>\n

Finally the door opened.<\/p>\n

\u201cReady for you now!\u201d came the principal\u2019s oily soprano. Elizabeth and Birdie stood and walked into her Glade Vanilla Cupcake-scented office. The walls were covered with mostly-empty bookshelves with the occasional framed photo or bowl full of glass ornaments. Like a Better Homes Magazine photo. The principal strode back to her desk and minimized the Pinterest window on her laptop before sitting and swiveling her chair to greet her underlings.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat can I help you with?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh! I use Pinterest to plan so many<\/em> of my lessons too!\u201d Birdie gushed. Elizabeth watched Principal Larsen blush and look annoyed. The principal had no lessons to plan.<\/p>\n

\u201cI find it helpful for\u2026organizational techniques,\u201d Principal Larsen said primly. Elizabeth smirked. The hastily closed window held a board of cheerfully ornate mixed drinks. She\u2019d purposefully drained 15 minutes of their valuable lunch break down her social media black hole. Elizabeth felt the deep fires under her caldera begin to bubble.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it\u2019s so helpful,\u201d Birdie continued happily, \u201cespecially after the arts didn\u2019t get renewed curricula materials two years ago. Pinterest is the only place I can find up-to-date lessons!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich is why we\u2019re here, actually,\u201d said Elizabeth quickly. She could almost hear the dual ticking clocks eating through their precious remaining time. She quickly, and politely made all her points, mindful of her stomach and bladder. Finally, she requested the second Mobile Classroom 5000<\/em> as well as use of the shelves in one of the temporary classroom trailers for supply storage.<\/p>\n

Principal Larsen blinked and shrugged. \u201cMy hands are tied. The budget is what the budget is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut it\u2019s not the<\/em> budget. It\u2019s your <\/em>budget. You\u2019ve artificially limited it!\u201d Elizabeth couldn\u2019t seem to stop the words from tumbling out, knowing each one undercut her measured, rational petition for space. \u201cPart of your election campaign, I\u2019m sure!\u201d It was out now. No going back.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh?\u201d The word sounded dangerous as it resonated in the Principal\u2019s mouth.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, there\u2019s money there. I\u2019ve identified it in your spreadsheets.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd how are you so expert at administrative-level accounting, Liz? You teach seam repairs and macaroni casserole.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elizabeth went cold quiet. She did not go by \u2018Liz.\u2019 And macaroni casserole kept you fed and alive. And it wasn\u2019t hard to make.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d said Birdie brightly, \u201cElizabeth also teaches checkbook balancing, and income tax preparation, and home budget creation. I should know. I\u2019ve caught the tail end of many of her lessons while picking up our shared <\/em>cart. Which is why we\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\n

God bless Birdie, <\/em>Elizabeth thought.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we\u2019re out of time,\u201d said Principal Larsen. \u201cAs I\u2019ve said before, my hands are tied. Keep up your work. The students sure like those easy classes. Keeps them coming to school.\u201d Instead of showing them out\u2014and Elizabeth wasn\u2019t sure she\u2019d have left voluntarily\u2014Principal Larsen stood and click-clicked out into the hallway, neatly severing their meeting. Snip. Like sharp, new shears.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The pair\u2019s attempts at going over Principal Larsen\u2019s head failed too. Elizabeth\u2019s petition to the school board had been tabbled for discussion at a later date. Her appeal to the City Commission was referred back to the discretion of the school board.<\/p>\n

Birdie\u2019s letter to the editor of the Bulgewater City newspaper received only one online comment: \u201cDoes the 1997 Ford come with new tires?\u201d Birdie suspected it was an avant-garde or Fluxus-style response from a covert and supportive community artist. Elizabeth thought it was misplaced and meant for the classifieds.<\/p>\n

After months of ineffective attempts through official channels, it was Birdie who had the breakthrough. The pair was sitting in the Teacher\u2019s lounge and Birdie was attempting to clean her paint-spattered side of the cart.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d she said, \u201cI wish we could just use all those empty bookshelves in Principal Larsen\u2019s room. For storage, I mean. So much unused space.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019d never agree, Birdie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe she would if it could help her campaign.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elizabeth smiled. It was as though the last few seasonings had been sprinkled into a simmering stew. The fragrance of a plan wafted through her brain.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a genius, Birdie.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Two weeks later Elizabeth knocked on the door of Principal Larsen\u2019s cupcake-scented office, barely able to contain her glee. The noise of her students milling behind her, excited about a change in routine, drowned out the twin off-ticking hallway clocks. She had all the time in the world today. Larsen opened the door and Elizabeth gently pushed her way in followed by a stream of twenty-two shuffling young adults.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease take your seats!\u201d Elizabeth called.<\/p>\n

\u201cLiz, what are you doing?\u201d Principal Larsen\u2019s looked confused and angry.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere aren\u2019t seats,\u201d one youth in an overlarge, orange sweatshirt pointed out.<\/p>\n

\u201cCircle up on the floor,\u201d said Elizabeth, and the students made a half formed bulgy horseshoe on Larsen\u2019s pink raspberry colored carpet.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid you\u2019ll need to leave my office,\u201d Larsen said. \u201cThis is my planning period.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just then Birdie came through the door. \u201cThis way ladies and gentlemen!\u201d she called over her shoulder, rainbow broomstick skirt swirling as she turned. A reporter and two camera techs with local news Channel 8 printed on their equipment followed her in.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs you see, Principal Larsen is serious about saving the district money. There\u2019s no corner she won\u2019t cut. She even offers her own office as a substitute classroom!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPrincipal Larsen,\u201d said the reporter, \u201cWhat prompted you to donate your office as more classroom space?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026\u201d Larsen started. She was trapped. The cameras were rolling. Such generosity and dedication broadcast to the whole city could only help her campaign. Elizabeth\u2019s smile glinted like undulled sewing shears. \u201cI saw the need. And I had to do what I could do\u2026without increasing the budget, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elizabeth launched into her lesson as the cameras rolled. The crew filmed the students sitting on the floor. They filmed the Mobile Classroom 5000. <\/em>Elizabeth felt light as pillow batting.<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, Principal Larsen,\u201d Elizabeth heard a reporter say as she wrapped up the lesson and the students shuffled off to their next classes. \u201cFew administrators would make the sacrifice you have.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s because I deeply care\u2026\u201d The reporters stayed to talk with Principal\/Superintendent Candidate Larsen and Elizabeth left. Birdie met her outside.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think that went well,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Election season came and went and \u201cGenerous Larsen,\u201d as she\u2019d come to be known on the campaign trail, won by a landslide. But not before the footage of students cross-legged on an office floor getting lessons from one teacher and half a cart circulated online and generated huge amounts of bad press for the district. Funding increased. And parents, voters, and city commissioners paid attention to see how it was spent. And Larsen\u2019s election meant she was out of the school for good.<\/p>\n

Birdie and Elizabeth now shared not a cart, but a whole temporary classroom trailer. Half filled with ovens, sinks, and real sewing machines, half filled with easels, oil pastels, and a real kiln. The materials for living life and expressing humanity and other nonessentials.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The final straw for Ms. Elizabeth Ledbetter, teacher of Home Economics at West Bulgewater Middle School, was of course her sewing shears. In fact, the school district\u2019s sewing shears\u2014all equipment belonged to the district, she knew that\u2014but she held fond feelings that approached guardianship toward the most valuable tools of her trade. And the fizz […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10855","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10855","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10855"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10855\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10855"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10855"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.confabulatorcafe.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10855"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}